Ana turns 10 (days), and I recount all the ways that she's better than your baby.
Our baby has more hair than yours does
We've got a ten day old. And for all intents and purpose, she's useless--can't walk, can't talk, can't barely even focus on my face for two seconds. She eats, poops, and sleeps. That's it.
And yet we find things to brag about. How 'bout that hair, hey? You ever seen that kind of hair on a baby? Gina's had two friends give birth in the last week, and one of the subtle questions we ask them over the phone... "So does he have hair? No? Oh, I'm sure he'll have beautiful hair soon..." We smirk, and cast a smug glance at our little baby.
Our baby sleeps more than yours does
The bragging doesn't stop with the hair. People ask how she sleeps.
"Like a dream," we reply. "Ten hours straight a night," we exaggerate. "She sleeps like a beauty queen, and so do we."
My wife is tougher than yours is
And my personal favourite is the bragging rights I have over Gina's natural childbirth. 30 hours labour, 5 hours pushing, and not an ounce of laughing gas, demoral or epidural.
"So, how did the labour go?" I ask my friend. "Oh, she went for the epidural, did she? The demoral too? Laughing gas not enough? Ha ha ha ha... MY WIFE TOOK NOTHING! SHE'S HERCULES! SHE LAUGHS IN THE FACE OF PAIN! SHE COULD WRESTLE YOUR WIFE ANY DAY AND WIN--WHILE NURSING AND CHANGING A DIAPER!! HA HA HA HA!"
Okay, enough. At 10 days, there's not too much to brag about, so I gotta use my imagination.